Life sometimes doesn’t go the way we thought it would and I would have to say that in the past year, my life is no longer on the path I thought it would be. There have been some life-changing events that I’m not sure I would have made it through if it hadn’t been for my family and friends. I am certainly not going to get into the details of those events right now – possibly in a future post – but I do know that these events have affected my world in a way I never would have imagined. It is along this changed path that I am having to rediscover who I am and what it is that brings joy into my life. It is along this avenue that I’m traveling that I am learning how to navigate the new waters I find myself in. Sometimes these waters are rocky and full of storms and on in other moments, the waters are deceptively calm.
So many times I have thought about how these changes have changed the way I see myself and how I move forward now. I understand so much more how easy it is to give up; I understand now how easy it is to get lost in your own life and not sure how to pull yourself out again. But I also know that it is through our experiences that we are able to grow, even if it is in a way that we would have chosen for ourselves. I have been so consumed by the enormity of the changes that I had lost my voice, I had forgotten how to express myself in my writing. However, I am relearning how to find inspiration in the things around me to rediscover what my voice truly is and how I want to express it.
So many times over the past few months I have found that songs I’m listening to and books I’ve been reading have found their way into my life at the exact right moment. It is from those lyrics and those written words that I have found strength that was needed at the right time. Sometimes though, the words make me sink back down into the place I’m trying to rise up from, but I also think that we need those times to reflect and mourn the things that have been lost to us.
Recently the words from Kenny Chesney’s song “Better Boat” have stuck with me and I turn to them in the moments I feel myself drifting again:
I breathe in, I breathe out
Got friends to call who let me talk about
What ain’t workin’, what’s still hurtin’
All the things I feel like cussin’ out
Now and then I let it go, I ride the waves I can’t control
I’m learnin’ how to build a better boat
I promise my dear readers that I will soon return to posting my book reviews. Stay tuned for more!